I'm Not a Girl!
by ScarletRoseProdigy
Summary: When Deidara gets tired of being mocked for his looks, he decides to prove to his girlfriend just how manly he really is.../DeiLynn One-Shot/


I'm Not a Girl!

(Deidara X Haruno Lynn)

**Disclaimer**: I Do Not Own Naruto! However, Haruno Lynn is **MY OC** so Please No Stealing!

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"Deidara-sempai, I've, uh, noticed something."

The blonde in question had the very sweet temptation of blowing that damned orange masked idiot clear out of the Akatsuki base, being he was already messing around with his bag of clay.

Of course Deidara knew the consequences and shivered at the thought of being reprimanded, but right now he was willing to risk anything and everything just to get Tobi out of his sight.

Why he was the "lucky" one that Tobi clung to, he would never know. Just because he lost his former partner, Sasori, that didn't mean he was looking for a new teammate to tag along at his side, especially not a child with a small brain.

He sighed and, unfortunately, turned his attention towards the annoying pest.

"If you're going to say something that's going to kill brain cells, then I don't want to hear it, un."

"Aw, don't be like that, sempai!" Whined Tobi, waving his arms around like the idiot he was.

"Then what is it and make it fast, un!" Deidara snapped, already feeling a headache coming on.

"I, uh," Tobi started, a kind of nervousness in his tone. "I noticed you kind of, sort of…look like a pretty girl."

Immediately, Deidara stopped what he was doing, his eye twitching madly. He knew his chakra was rising because not only could he feel it for himself, but Tobi was whimpering like an injured puppy. The explosion master slowly turned and his blue eyes were narrowed to a dangerous level. It was almost to the point of seeing red.

"What," He hissed through gritted teeth. "Did you just say?"

"I-I," Quivered Tobi, who knew now, was probably a good time to start running. "I said y-you l-looked l-like a-a…g-girl…"

A growl erupted from Deidara's throat and, one look into that dagger glare, Tobi ran for his life, with the blonde right on his tail.

"Please don't kill me, Deidara-sempai!"

"I'm going to slaughter you, un!"

As they headed into the main room, a loud laughter bounced off the walls.

"You know, for once I agree with him."

As Tobi dived behind the couch, Deidara had to pull back his clay before it collided with the wrong target. He'd rather get a beating from a certain red haired kunoichi then be on the end of one of Hidan's rituals.

"You're not helping, un."

"That's the point, Blondie." The Immortal chuckled again. "But you might as well face it, Deidara-_chan_. You look more like a chick then a dude. As a matter of fact, have you ever owned a pair of balls in your life?" Another deep-gutted laugh followed his words.

Deidara's fists were clenched tightly, his face red with pure frustration. _Now_ look what Tobi started. Oh, he was going to get _tortured_.

"That's it!" It didn't take long for his palms to create his small spider explosions. The second they were finished, he launched them straight at Hidan and behind the couch.

"Wrong move!" Hidan smirked, flying up and easily cut the spiders in half, his scythe springing from his back. "You're messing with the wrong bastard!"

A loud scream could be heard as Tobi sprang from his hiding place and started running around trying to get the clay off him.

Deidara smirked, activating his explosions with one hand sign.

Tobi's scream got louder as Hidan's temper went through the roof. When the smoke cleared, the Immortal was covered in his skeleton colors, a crazed laughter coming from deep in his throat.

"Now you've gone and done it, fucker! I'm gonna have fun with you now!"

Deidara's eyes went wide when he saw Hidan's true colors. Didn't he have to taste blood in order to go berserk?

He checked himself over franticly. If he _did_ get cut, he didn't feel anything. And he highly doubted the Immortal kept a jar of blood hidden in his robes. His blue eyes then caught a glimpse of his right thigh.

Son of a bitch…he _was_ bleeding.

He quickly glanced back up at Hidan, who was probably waiting for Deidara to make the first move.

Fuck…this was what he was trying to avoid. All this just because Tobi _had_ to open his big mouth. Deidara's temper was starting to get just as bad as his girlfriends. And _she_ was a natural redhead.

"Whatcha waiting for, girlie?" Hidan taunted, licking his lips. "Are you gonna attack or you too afraid to break a nail?"

"Shut up!" Although he knew it was a bad idea, Deidara wasn't thinking clearly. Correction, he wasn't thinking _at all_. Holding out his palm, he let his miniature clay birds fly out into the air, dancing around Hidan.

"Ha! You think these scare me? Real women fight head on! They don't hide behind pathetic excuses for attacks!"

Now Deidara had been pushed over his limit. He threw his hand signs together, intent on blowing that Immortal bastard clear out of their hiding place.

"Deidara! You detonate those, I'll shove those to far down your throat you're going to be _crying_ like a girl!"

The blonde suddenly went stiff as a board, gulping down the lump that suddenly formed in his throat. Slowly, feeling a shiver race through his body, he craned his head to the side to see none other then said girlfriend with her arms across her chest. And from the look on her face, her eyes sharp as kunai's, Lynn wasn't too happy.

"What the fuck is going on here?" She yelled, marching straight to the blonde, who bit down on his lip. "Are you _trying_ to get us killed? Are you _trying_ to give away our location? Go ahead, Deidara, and announce to the whole fucking country where we are!"

Deidara knew he had officially pissed Lynn off because her eyes weren't hazel; they were a deep chocolate brown, which they usually turned when she was pissed or lustful…and it definitely wasn't the latter. He would have accepted the latter anytime but now wasn't the time to let himself get sidetracked.

"Ha!" Came Hidan's laughter. "Being bitched out by another female isn't helping you prove that you're _not_ a girl, Deidara-chan!"

Lynn felt her eye twitch at Hidan's words. Though she knew he was a part of this problem, his commentary wasn't needed or helping.

She reached into her weapons holster and, in what seemed like a blink of an eye, hurled a kunai straight for Hidan's face. And, as a loud, "Ow! What the fuck, you stupid bitch!" rang in her ears, she knew she had hit the mark.

Smirking, Lynn turned her attention back to Deidara, whose eyes were wider then saucers. "Now Dei," She said sweetly. "Unless you want to suffer the same pain as the Jashinist over there, I suggest you start talking."

Just as the blonde opened his mouth, it wasn't his voice that the redhead heard.

"I called him a girl!"

Lynn inhaled a deep breath as Tobi's annoying voice immediately triggered a headache. She should have known that fool was behind this. One word from him could make anyone's temper go haywire. But did he _have_ to involve Hidan? That was like pleading to be tortured and bled out slowly and painfully.

"_That's_ what this is all about?" She said, rubbing her temples. "You caused _all_ this mess cause he called you a girl?"

This definitely was _not_ his day. First that damned Tobi just had to let his thoughts be known, then he found himself staring at Hidan's psycho side and _now_ Deidara was on the end of _Lynn's_ wrath! He couldn't stop himself quickly enough.

"You get pissed by stupid shit too, un!"

Lynn's eyes narrowed again. She had to admit, her blonde lover had balls for not wasting time throwing something in her face. However… "_I_ don't try to blast our hiding place to kingdom come! _I_ keep everything intact because _I_ like my life, fuck you very much!"

Deidara swallowed another lump. It was a good try, but he knew Lynn had a point.

"Man, this is _too_ funny!" Hidan fell back onto the couch, now back to normal, holding his gut. The kunai wound in his head had already healed, like nothing had happened. "Hey Lynn, you've fucked Deidara-chan. Maybe you can solve this mystery: is he a girl?"

Just before the redhead could reply, she was beaten to the punch.

"That's it! How the hell am I like a girl, un?"

"It's obvious, dumb shit!" Hidan replied, rolling his eyes. "For one, your body is more like a chick's than a dude's. And two, your hair is too pretty to belong to a guy!"

From where she was standing, Lynn couldn't fight back a snicker. "What are you doing looking at his body, Hidan? You hiding something from us, too?"

"Shut the hell up, Red!" Shouted the Immortal, his cheeks going red after not realizing what he had walked into.

Deidara glared over at his girlfriend. "That Uchiha has long hair, un. You lumping him into this, too?"

Lynn sighed. "_You_ were the one who brought Itachi into this, _not_ me. And as for his hair, his isn't as…fluffy and…well…girlie like yours is."

As his blue eyes widened in surprise, Hidan busted out laughing harder then before. "So," He managed to say between laughs. "Are you saying that Itachi could be a girl, too?"

"Oh no." Lynn chuckled, a small smirk tugging on her lips. "Itachi is _all_ male."

Okay, that was it. Deidara had had it. He could take Tobi being a fool, he could take Hidan and his other psycho side and hell, he could even take falling victim to that blasted Sharingan.

But when _his_ woman started talking about someone he _hated_, especially in _that_ tone of voice, that's when he let his anger ebb and jealousy surface.

Completely forgetting about his leg injury, he grabbed Lynn's hand and all but dragged her out of the main room.

"Deidara!" The redhead shouted, wondering what the hell had come over the blonde. "What the hell are you -…!"

She suddenly found herself pinned against a wall in the candle lit hallway, trapped between rock and Deidara's body. Now it was her turn to swallow a lump. Her eyes shot wide open, her heart starting to beat wildly as she gazed straight into two deep blue pools.

"D-Deidara?"

A low chuckle erupted from the blonde's throat, his lips pulling up into a smirk. He pushed his body closer to Lynn's, being able to feel her heartbeat against his.

"I'm going to show you the _hard_ way," His pants emphasized his meaning, hearing a small gasp slip from his lover's lips. "No. Better yet, I'm going to _teach_ you a lesson about insulting people, un."

This was a completely different Deidara. And…she liked it. His voice was enough to make her whole body start shaking, her knees going weak. She could feel her cheeks grow hotter with each passing second, her heart now racing almost violently. And to have him pressed up against her core? It was enough to make her _beg_.

"Dei…" Was all she could get out before his lips were crushed against hers. She couldn't stop the moan that instantly flew out, her arms flying around his neck, holding on and praying her legs wouldn't give out.

Chuckling mentally, Deidara wasted no time. Keeping her against the wall, he shoved his tongue between her lips, rubbing and fighting with hers, earning another moan.

He could feel her hands grip his hair, almost tugging, the sensation rippling through his spine.

As their tongues twirled, one arm staying around Lynn's waist, his other hand crept down her stomach and cupped her core roughly. His lips moved down her neck in time to hear a gasp, her legs closing on instinct.

"You're not getting away _that_ easily." He whispered. His knee pushed itself between her legs, pulling them apart as he let his fingers gently massage her core.

Lynn, no matter how hard she tried, couldn't fight back the moans with Deidara's every tough. Just one kiss had sent her head swimming. It wasn't like him to be rough like this. It was new and exciting and…_such a turn-on_.

She whispered his name as his fingers moved against her womanhood. She cursed at her pants for being in the way as she could feel the heat pool and dampen her clothes.

And, oh, could Deidara feel it. A shudder went through his body as his lips collided with Lynn's once more. He had planned to keep the foreplay going a bit longer but the way her body was reacting to his every touch…he needed her _now_.

Tearing away from her sweet tasting mouth, he scooped her up into his arms, trying to keep himself under control for just a few moments and dashed towards their shared bedroom.

Once that door was locked, Deidara wasted no time in throwing his woman on the bed. No words were exchanged as clothes were tossed to the floor and blankets became tangled with body limbs.

The flame from the candles around the room flickered upon their bodies, highlighting their features.

Deidara pulled away from a heated kiss, saliva bridging their lips together, and let his blue eyes take in the sight that was his girlfriend.

Along with Lynn's smile and her half lidded dark colored eyes, the blonde found himself unable to look away. Even though she had a few scars here and there, she was still a woman, a breath-taking woman at that. Her curves were in the right places, her chest was the perfect size and her lips were incredibly inviting.

The blonde wasn't the only one taking in the view. As he sat up, gazing down upon her body, Lynn took in the sight of his, licking her lips, loving what she saw. With his hair fully down, his blue eyes absolutely glowed in the candle light, almost like the full moon reflecting on the ocean.

She let her fingers slide down his chest slowly, taking in the feel of his muscles beneath her fingertips. Her nails left goose bumps on his skin, his body shivering slightly.

Deidara smirked, loving the feel of her skin against his. His hand slid down her chest, fondling her breast softly, her pants turning into moans that were starting to increase in volume.

Chuckling softly, he leaned down and latched his lips to her neck, suckling on several spots to deliberately leave marks that would last for days. His hand then went from her chest straight between her legs.

"Dei!" She gasped suddenly, his warm fingers against her wet folds. With her entire body on fire from the inside out, her skin matching the color of her hair, she bit down on her lip as he plunged two fingers deep inside of her without warning. Her back arched, her arms snaking around his neck and her nails digging into his skin.

Within seconds, he quickened his pace, her moans matching his movements. His name slipped out from her lips, begging him not to stop. As his mouth became occupied with hers, a new sensation of pleasure soared through her spine.

The tongue from his mouth palm had slithered out, deciding it wanted to have some fun, too. Her moans soon became screams as it delved deep into her soaking wet core, licking her walls as his entire hand massaged the outside.

Deidara loved every single sound that came from his lover. This is what he had been wanting for weeks now. He couldn't even remember the last time they had spent some alone time like this. And, with his own arousal getting worse by the minute, he knew he couldn't keep up the teasing for long, for both of their sakes.

Hearing his name over and over drew him over his edge. He pulled his hand away from her core, wrapped his arm around her waist while keeping himself propped up with the other and, after positioning himself at her entrance, all it took was a smile from Lynn to give him permission.

Giving her a quick soft kiss, he slowly pushed himself inside, groaning slightly as a small whimper came from Lynn. She had grown tighter but he was far from complaining. He slid out before pushing back inside, holding her body close as he went faster with each thrust.

She knew it had been a while since the last time they were together like this but did it seem like Deidara had gotten bigger? "Dei!" She found herself screaming, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, keeping him close to her. Her body rocked with his every push, begs for him to go faster and deeper continuously slipping out into the air.

He obeyed her every command. Whatever she wanted, she got without another word. Sweat coated their bodies, making it easier to stick together. Their pants merged together, the blonde moaning out his lover's name.

Before they both realized it, Deidara had picked up the pace, going faster then before, causing his erection to press deeper into her womb. In return, Lynn had started moving her hips against his, her core throbbing for more and the feel of pleasure shooting through her body. She had almost forgotten how addicting he was.

"L-Lynn…" Deidara found himself on the brink of his climax, even though he didn't want to stop. Being inside of the redhead was like heaven. She was perfect and her screams of his name were like music to his ears. But, as her nails dug deeper into his skin, he knew the both of them were unable to keep going for very much longer.

"D-Dei…" She whimpered, holding onto him as close and as tightly as she could without hurting him with her strength. Her body was starting to shake, and she knew she couldn't hold herself back any longer. As he pushed himself in one more time, their screams blended as they came together, a smile on each of their faces.

Panting softly, they shared one last soft kiss before Deidara pulled himself out and laid down beside Lynn, still holding her in his arms. For a few minutes, neither one of them said anything, simply enjoying the moment and each other's company. Their breathing started to slow and go back to normal as Deidara kissed the top of Lynn's head.

"So," He finally said, breaking the silence, chuckling. "Did I prove my point?"

Lynn sighed and rolled her eyes, glancing up at her blonde lover. He was seriously going back to that? However, after thinking about it for a moment, she smirked, laughing softly to herself.

"You forget one important detail about me, Deidara."

Before he had time to answer, he found himself aroused all over again the moment Lynn's body moved on top of his. Her plump red lips lowered themselves to his ears and said one simple sentence to get him in the mood again:

"I go _both_ ways."

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Whew! I forgot how hard it was to write a lemon scene at the top of my head without writing everything down first! Well, hope you liked! Reviews are always welcome! ^_^


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